Sentence Variation
Read the following sentences and consider what they all have in common:
John and Amanda will be analyzing this week’s financial report.
The car screeched to a halt just a few inches away from the young boy.
Students rarely come to the exam adequately prepared.
If you are having trouble figuring out why these sentences are similar, try underlining the subject in each. You will notice that the subject is positioned at the beginning of each sentence—John and Amanda, the car, students. Since the subject-verb-object pattern is the simplest sentence structure, many writers tend to overuse this technique, which can result in repetitive paragraphs with little sentence variety.
Here are some ways you can vary your sentence structure and make your writing more engaging.
Starting a Sentence with an Adverb
One technique you can use so as to avoid beginning a sentence with the subject is to use an adverb. An adverb is a word that describes a verb, adjective, or other adverb and often ends in –ly. Examples of adverbs include quickly, softly, quietly, angrily, and timidly. Notice the difference between the following sentences:
She slowly turned the corner and peered into the murky basement.
Slowly, she turned the corner and peered into the murky basement.
In the second sentence, the adverb slowly is placed at the beginning of the sentence. If you read the two sentences aloud, you will notice that moving the adverb changes the rhythm of the sentence and slightly alters its meaning. The second sentence emphasizes how the subject moves—slowly—creating a buildup of tension.
Note that an adverb used at the beginning of a sentence is usually followed by a comma. A comma indicates that the reader should pause briefly, which creates a useful dramatic effect.
Starting a Sentence with a Prepositional Phrase
A prepositional phrase is a group of words that behaves as an adjective or an adverb, modifying a noun or a verb. Prepositional phrases contain a preposition (a word that specifies place, direction, or time) and an object of the preposition (a noun phrase or pronoun that follows the preposition).
Common Prepositions: Above, across, against, after, among, around, at, before, behind, below, beneath, beside, between, beyond, by, despite, except, for, from, inside, like, off, on, over, past, since, through, throughout, into, toward, near, underneath, until, up, with, without, till, under
Notice the difference between the two sentences:
The child opened his birthday present with extreme excitement.
With excitement, the child opened his birthday present.
When the prepositional phrase is moved to the beginning of the sentence, the emphasis shifts from the subject—the child—to the manner in which the child is opening the present.
Unmovable Prepositional Phrases
Not all prepositional phrases can be placed at the beginning of a sentence. Read the following:
I would like a chocolate sundae without whipped cream.
In this sentence, without whipped cream is the prepositional phrase. Because it describes the chocolate sundae, it cannot be moved to the beginning of the sentence. “Without whipped cream I would like a chocolate sundae” does not make as much (if any) sense. It dangles because it is separated from what it describes, and prepositional phrases must be placed right next to what they describe.
Starting a Sentence by Inverting Subject and Verb
As we noted earlier, most writers follow the subject-verb-object sentence structure. In an inverted sentence, the order is reversed so that the subject follows the verb. Read the following sentences:
A truck was parked in the driveway.
Parked in the driveway was a truck.
Notice how the second sentence places more emphasis on the subject. This technique is useful for drawing the reader’s attention to your primary area of focus.
Practice Exercise 7
Rewrite the sentences below by inverting the subject-verb order or by starting with an adverb or a prepositional phrase:
- The red truck sped furiously past the camper van, blaring its horn.
- The bandaged man waited in the doctor’s office.
- Bathroom facilities are across the hall to the left of the water cooler.
- Jeff snatched at the bread hungrily, polishing off three slices in under a minute.
- The dancer lithely glided across the stage before she began the pas-de-deux.
- My train leaves the station at 6:45 a.m.
- A detailed job description is enclosed with this letter.
Connecting Ideas to Increase Sentence Variety
Reviewing and rewriting the beginning of sentences is a good way of introducing sentence variety into your writing. Another useful technique is to connect two sentences using a modifier, a relative clause, or an appositive. This section examines how to connect ideas across several sentences in order to increase sentence variety and improve writing.
Joining Ideas Using an –ing Modifier
Sometimes it is possible to combine two sentences by converting one of them into a modifier using the –ing verb form—singing, dancing, swimming. A modifier is a word or phrase that qualifies the meaning of another element in the sentence. Read the following example:
Original sentences: Steve checked the computer system. He discovered a virus.
Revised sentence: Checking the computer system, Steve discovered a virus.
To connect two sentences using an –ing modifier, add –ing to one of the verbs in the sentences (checking) and delete one of the subjects (He). Use a comma to separate the modifier from the subject of the sentence. It is important to make sure that the main idea in your revised sentence is contained in the main clause, not in the modifier. In this example, the main idea is that Steve discovered a virus, not that he checked the computer system.
Joining Ideas Using an –ed Modifier
Some sentences can be combined using an –ed verb form—stopped, finished, played. To use this method, one of the sentences must contain a form of be as a helping verb in addition to the –ed verb form. Take a look at the following example:
Original sentences: The Jones family was delayed by a traffic jam. They arrived several hours after the party started.
Revised sentence: Delayed by a traffic jam, the Jones family arrived several hours after the party started.
In the original version, was acts as a helping verb—it has no meaning by itself, but it serves a grammatical function by placing the main verb (delayed) in the perfect tense.
To connect two sentences using an –ed modifier, drop the helping verb (was) and the subject (the Jones family) from the sentence with an –ed verb form. This forms a modifying phrase (delayed by a traffic jam) that can be added to the beginning or end of the other sentence according to which fits best. As with the –ing modifier, be careful to place the word that the phrase modifies immediately next to what it modifies.
Joining Ideas Using a Relative Clause
Another technique that writers use to combine sentences is to join them using a relative clause. A relative clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb and describes a noun. Relative clauses function as adjectives by answering questions such as which one? or what kind? Relative clauses begin with a relative pronoun, such as who, which, where, why, or when. Read the following examples:
- Original sentences: The managing director is visiting the company next week. He lives in Seattle.
- Revised sentence: The managing director, who lives in Seattle, is visiting the company next week.
To connect two sentences using a relative clause, substitute the subject of one of the sentences (he) for a relative pronoun (who). This gives you a relative clause (who lives in Seattle) that can be placed next to the noun it describes (the managing director). Make sure to keep the sentence you want to emphasize as the main clause.
If the relative clause is not essential to the meaning of the sentence, it should be placed in commas. If the relative clause is essential to the meaning of the sentence, it does not require commas around it.
Joining Ideas Using an Appositive
A noun phrase appositive is a word or group of words that describes or renames a noun or pronoun. Incorporating appositives into your writing is a useful way of combining sentences that are too short and choppy. Take a look at the following example:
- Original sentences: Greta Thunberg is a 16-year-old environmental activist. She is from Sweden.
- Revised sentence: Greta Thunberg, a 16-year-old environmental activist, is from Sweden.
In the revised sentence, “a 16-year-old environmental activist” is an appositive because it renames Greta Thunberg. To combine two sentences using an appositive, drop the subject and verb from the sentence that renames the noun and turn it into a phrase. An appositive must come directly before or after the noun to which it refers.
- Appositive after noun: No one expected that Scott, a poorly trained athlete, would win the race.
- Appositive before noun: A poorly trained athlete, Scott was not expected to win the race.
Unlike relative clauses, appositives are always punctuated by a comma or a set of commas.
Practice Exercise 8
Combine the following sentences using either a modifier, a relative clause, or an appositive.
- Uncle Bob is a sailor. He has been everywhere.
- The Pacific Ocean is the world’s largest ocean. It extends from the Arctic in the north to the Southern Ocean in the south.
- Michael Phelps won eight gold medals in the 2008 Olympics. He is a champion swimmer.
- The football was fumbled at the goal line. The football squirted around between players on the opposing teams.
- Danielle was sad that her cat passed away. She consoled herself remembering the time that he had ruined her computer.
- Save the seat for me. The seat is closest to the front.
- She noticed the police car. She shifted gears and slowed down.
Adapted from “Sentence Variety” in Lightbulb: Rhetoric and Composition by Athena Kashyap and Erika Dyquisto under a CC BY-SA 4.0 license.
